friday favorites.

it's friday favorites again! 

I eventually need some new tennis shoes, I have a lightweight pair of merrell's that are almost done and a pair I got two years ago when I was crossfitting that have almost met their life expectancy too. 

I have a wide range of what I like for my running shoes so these are the ones I am digging, too bad they are pretty expensive but a girl can dream.

I don't need a lot of clothes {of course, I always WANT} but I am literally down to like one pair of shorts. So I've been dreaming of getting these...all from Forever 21.

Ya'll this whole week has been filled with Gilmore Girls talk because they had a huge reunion and y'all, that just makes my heart so full. My mom and I love that show and definitely miss it.

Here is an interview with the cast, I just LOVE them! 
Gilmore Reunion

 These songs...

Now I'm strictly a Lakeshow fan for life, but we haven't had much of a team the past two years at least and I couldn't be less of a Lebron fan {Kobe>Lebron}. But when someone asks who I'm going for in this finals series, I say RILEY CURRY!

 

Happy Friday! What's y'all's favorites this week?! 

Linking up with these blogs so make sure to check out their Friday Favs too!

rain clouds.

So I am fully aware that not everyday will be great and sunny, and here lately it feels like bad news, after bad news, after bad news. I want to be honest on this blog and not just show y'all the great things in my life but the hard times and the struggles, I mean I started this blog to deal with grief and how it is a taboo subject.

Some of the bad news that we received these past few weeks was that one of Tripp's former wrestlers had passed away a week after he graduated high-school due to a car wreck. It's tragic anytime a young person dies and this was Tripp's first loss since he started teaching and coaching. The community felt the loss and had a celebration of life service for him on Monday night.

Now I've dealt with death since my brother passed, I've even been to two funerals in the same room that we had Micah's viewing so this isn't new to me. This is my first young person that has died since Micah but to be honest, I hadn't even given that a thought until we went to the service Monday night. I found myself being very agitated, not because of dealing with death or sadness or even that Micah didn't get a celebration of life service. I wasn't upset that the auditorium was packed for the boy, because Micah's viewing was relatively packed as well. I found myself getting more aggravated, that by the end when the Pastor said, "Don't ever stop talking about, Ryan." My blood pressure was spiked and honestly more from jealousy than anything else. I brought it up to Tripp on the way home, I adored what that Pastor said, I appreciate it and I wish it was said more..but can I be honest?! I don't believe that will ever be said at an addict's funeral. In our society, I am made to feel dirty about my brother's death, I am made to feel ashamed and feel remorse for being upset that he's gone. I am told to not bring it up and I am not encouraged to talk about his death or his life. I just find this sad by just the way Micah died, the family is made to feel different and ashamed of it.

I will never be ashamed of Micah, his life or his death. I will never stop talking about Micah. I will never stop missing Micah and wishing he was here. I hope and pray that one day our society looks at each young person's death as sad and encourages the family [no matter how the death occurred] to talk about it and the loved one.

Micah was an addict, but just like Ryan was such a special part of the Mortimer Jordan community. Micah was a special part of our family, his friends loved him, even my work adored Micah. The people who have the biggest opinion of Micah and how we deal with his death?! People who had one conversation or less with him. People who haven't experienced seeing a loved one suffer from addiction, they choose to stare at us and the addict like we have the plague. They force their judgements on us, when we know they have no clue how they would handle this situation. Now please hear that I am not taking anything away from anyone's death, I am simply saying why can every young person's death not feel like a tragedy?! Because it is. You think it matters to an addicts family how they died?! It sure doesn't.

What's Up Wednesday

It's the end of the month so it's time for What's Up Wednesday...if you read yesterday I accidentally started this post then because my brain is friedddd.

So linking up with some of my favorite bloggers to end out this month! 

What We're Eating This Week-

Well we are both sick still....so literally last night we put together whatever we could find which ended up being a grilled egg cheese sandwich...yep, we're very creative. 

In my last post, I did share the Chia Seed Pudding I've been snacking on so I'm still snacking on that. 

 Also, everything kinda goes to crap around here when I'm sick, house work gets far behind, cooking is a forgotten task, I mean it's just plain sad.



What I'm Reminiscing About-
To a time when I wasn't sick...Look how healthy I can be

VS. now sicklyy..

Rough times.

What I'm Loving-

 Obviously

 Thank You Memorial Day Sales! Got this bathing suit for 30% off, obsessed with the top. #obsessed #obsessed

Saw this tattoo and have been in love ever since. I need it. Can't stop dreaming of it. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What We've Been Up To-

We celebrated my granddaddy's 86th birthday! happy birthday granddaddy! my grandmother turns 87 on Friday so happy early birthday to her too! 

 

 

Me bossing my mom at work is a common thing you'll see ^^^

 << This is a new thing Toby has figured out how to get under the curtain so he can live vicariously through outside dogs. #dreambigbaby

Biking our usual trail >>> still loving it! 

 

   

 

I'm obsessed with anything that has a small trailer, airstream, rv on it. Found this gem at World Market and had to get it. #ignoremynails

What I'm Dreading-

I have most of the dreadful things over for a while, I would really just enjoy being healthy now. PLEASE

What I'm Working On-

Well all of my house projects are over for a bit. At work, we are gearing up for the 15/16 school year so I've been working on getting those papers ready. 

Also, I've shared about my struggle with acne for the past few posts and I've clearly been working on that. I started the Rodan + Fields brand [Unblemish] and for about a week now I have had a clear face..which if you have seen me [LORD knows I wasn't taking a "before" picture] then you know that's quite different from how my skin was for the past months. I will keep you updated but so far so good. I'm using Simple- Moisturizing Wash every other time, just because my skin can be sensitive and it's nice to give it break from the harshness of R+F. So like I said, they are both currently working..I've been using 

both for about 3 weeks..Stay tuned. 

What I'm Excited About-

Feeling better so I can get back to....

What I'm Watching/Reading-

Reading- 

 This book has been really beneficially, it gives 6 steps to overcome depression without medication. It tells how medication works for such a small percentage of people suffering and sometimes that can make depression worse, when you're taking medicine and that's not even helping. This book explains that Sunlight, Exercise, Omega 3s, Engaging Activity, Social Support and Sleep. I've recently been adding more Sunlight [I stopped the tanning beds, y'all], started taking Omega 3s and working on my Engaging Activities.

[[Sidenote: I have nothing against antidepressants. I have myself tried them, I just didn't reap the benefits which is a disappointment when you want help this bad. I can honestly say nothing has helped me quite like exercise. It's hard to get the energy when you're suffering to go but when I do I just flourish, I can honestly say that.]] Plus I have added the essential oils so curious about how all that will work out.

Okay, I'm gonna try not to rant on and on about this book. I started the Christy Miller books when I was 12 years old [Literally, almost 13 years ago]] and it has helped me more than anything I have ever read [bible studies included]. Christy Miller grew up with me and what's so great is that even now, married and 24, she is relatable to me. Robin Jones Gunn just released the 2nd series to The Married Years and I am captivated again. Y'all seriously don't even understand how much these books mean to me.









Watching- 
The past two weekends have been all about them Crossfit Regionals and this is the last one until the games..
This week I'm hoping these people make it [[still suffering the loss of Josh Bridges and Matt Chan]]:

 Rich's Team [Crossfit Mayhem Freedom]

 Scott Panchik

 Sam Dancer

 Stacie Tovar

Graham Holmberg













Also, I'm on epsiode 4, season 1 of...

What I'm Listening To-

Currently Skip Bayless talk about Game 5 of the Warriors/Rockets game.. You can tell my husband is off for the summer!

What I'm Wearing-

Y'all I'm sick..y'all do not need to see my jammie collection. 

What I'm Doing This Weekend-

Besides watching the Regional Comp for Crossfit.. I'm actually dying to see this movie ->

 

What I'm Looking Forward To Next Month-

Well like I said, besides [football+wrestling] practice my husband is off for the summer and we hope to get to be able to very active. We have kayaking, paddle boarding and biking on our To-Do list for next month, plus we need to get our basement under control so cleaning and organizing that. I hope to get in alot of family and friends time too! I signed up for a young wives small group called Unveiled that starts on June 1st so I am excited for that, I will not know anyone so that's always refreshing to meet a group of new ladies. Girlfriends are seriously everything in this world.

What Else Is New-

What is y'alls thoughts on a humidifier?! I'm seriously considering putting one in our bedroom if that will help my immune system. I can't be like this all summer.  

What Is Your Favorite Thing To Grill In June?!  [Question of the Month]

We've already been grilling a lot here lately! The usual of hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken, smoked sausage, steaks..I think my favorite is a good steak just because it isn't something you can have everyday. I do love a good kebab too!

What's Up with Y'all's Wednesday?! 

one year down, a lifetime to go.

So sorry for the past week and half with no blogging. I don't expect that to happen again. April 5th (yesterday) was the one year anniversary of my brother's death so needless to say just been fighting to stay out of the funk. Last week was hard, outside situations made it worse but I hope that eventually I will look back and be proud of how I've dealt with this whole thing. I made a lot of mistakes last year after he died simply because I didn't know what the heck I was doing so I am trying to make decisions that aren't solely emotionally based.

 My family and I received a lot of sweet texts/calls/emails leading up to the day and we are so VERY thankful to the ones that encourage us with thoughts and prayers and spending extra time with us during this week. I thought about writing a blog yesterday but I feel like there isn't too much to say about it. If you were lucky enough to know Micah for any amount of time then you knew what good guy he was so I don't need to explain that...shoot the majority of people preferred him over his favorite sibling (yours truly, of course). Last year I tried to write a few posts about grieving..daily, on holidays, the firsts of things, etc. Now that we have officially been missing him for 365 days, I am now trying to figure out how to move on and dealing with guilt because I don't want to forget about him, even though I know I never could. It makes the moving on process a little more difficult. So I'm sure this year will be full of new experiences and I'll post some on the moving on process and trying to figure that out. 


While I am on this topic I would like to post some things not to say to people grieving (I received a few this week and a lot last year) so here we go:

1) I'll pray for you- While this is very endearing and thoughtful and definitely what we need, sometimes people grieving just want another human to take genuine time even if its just a phone call, a text conversation or actual quality time spent. I'll pray for you can come off as a dismissal type thing and just your way of getting by and not trying to put any effort into it Grieving is the worst thing someone can go through and being alone for a periods of time only make the funk worse. I promise any time you put into someone grieving doesn't go unnoticed and I do believe how you treat others will come back when you are dealing with something like grief. (Not saying don't pray, pray please. Just also respect how it can sound.)

2) He's in a better place- Well what good does that do me?! I'm still here..on earth and dealing with everything he got to leave behind... I am super appreciative of the fact that Micah knew God and accepted Him as the only way to get to Heaven. Buttt he left me here, dealing with crap and sadness and he gets to be up there with Aunt Becky and Granddaddy Alvin just waiting for the rest of us. 

3) You'll move on- What if I don't want to...if I associate that with forgetting him then I definitely don't want to do that. Again I understand why people say it but just understand that it hurts to think about life without this person. 

Trust me I heard a lot worse but these were the most common that just left a stinging feeling. So I know you're probably thinking "Well then what am I supposed to say?!" Never fear, I have a few examples for you! 

1) What do you miss the most about him/her? While this is usually not a short answer, it shows that you are interested in an authentic way. I love telling stories about Micah and talking about anything related to him.

2) You know he/she's looking down on you.-This isn't question so it won't take that much time out of your day. When I got married, it meant the most when people walked up to me or text me that day to let me know that Micah is with me and he is watching. While I don't believe he is my guardian angel or anything like that, I do believe he is getting to see certain things and my wedding is definitely one of them.


3) He/She's would be proud of you.- Pretty self-explanatory. It's similar to the one of above and just gives you confidence and peace at the same time.

What's Up Wednesday

I am linking up with one of my favorite bloggers, Shay at MixandMatchMama for "What's Up Wednesdays". Shay has the best posts and if you are a "Bachelor" fan you will know her as Season 17's Bachelor Sean's sister. 

What we're eating this week: 

I'm usually not one for cooking, I haven't found my niche in it yet. That being said....Tripp made Paleo Chili at his small group on Sunday and I must say it was delish. He made a huge pot that I ate on for a 3 days before freezing the rest. Very proud of the hubs. 

What I'm reading: 

My goal here lately is to read one self-help, one fiction that I can enjoy and one bible study. I mentioned in an earlier post that I am reading Grief Healing Techniques which I HIGHLY

recommend for anyone needing help with grief in anyway. 

For my fiction, I am looking to find a new one. So any recommendations, comment with them please! 

Then there is my Bible study...again SHEREADSTRUTH is perfect for any female needing a different approach to your typical Bible study. It's an APP, but you can also purchase the study guides for a few of the plans which are BEAUTIFUL> I have Esther currently.  

What I'm reminiscing about:

Obviously constantly reminiscing about this guy... #sorrynotsorry it'll be a year April 5th so I know the posts surrounding that date will probably more sentimental than most. 

 What I'm looking forward to:

Since Tripp and I both work in education (well me, sort of) we have next week off for spring break and while we aren't going away we are going to try to do some fun stuff around here. I know one day I want to go to one of the parks for some outdoor time, plus some must needed car washing, grass cutting, etc. It should be fun tho! 

What I'm loving: 

Well these two specifically, ever since she was forced to spend at least 24 hours with us during all the snow/ice we all most DEFINITELY bonded. I love this babe and am so enjoying this time that she is living with us. I know one day life/we will different/harder/older so I am trying to remember to enjoy this time in our marriage/being roommates. I have to say it isn't too hard because these two are quite fun :)

 

 Also..this past weekend I came down with some throat burning crude so I am currently loving me some emergen-c as well #yuktobeingsick.

 

What I've been up to:

 Well work (obvs), a lot of PB and Hot Yoga...honestly our weeks are pretty monotonous around here. It's baseball season so Tripp works late with games or practice, I work till the same time everyday and go straight to some sort of class that makes me sweat and then beds it is...food in there somewhere as well.

I applied for 3 jobs that I would be excited about so fingers crossed. 

 

 What I'm dreading:

Apparently allergy season or whatever the heck is wrong with me....it is no bueno. 

What I'm working on:

Finding the energy to go to Yen Yoga tonight and this blog... besides that I currently don't have many projects going on at the house and a ton of projects going on at work (hellllo, graduation time). 

What I'm excited about:

The weekend...too soon?!

What I'm watching:

Just started The Mindy Project this past weekend and omg...LOVE LOVE. She is me, err I am her. Hilarious! If you love New Girl or comedy or laughing, in general it is a MUST watch. 

What I'm listening to:

I mean it's Queen Bey so do I need to give you a reason?! 

 

What am I annoyed by:

 Allergies, tiredness, acne, my love for food...choose one or all that is me. This ^^^ doesn't deserve a cute picture soo.

 

What am I hoping for:

A peaceful rest of the week! Yes Mothers, those without children appreciate peace as well. 

What am I wearing today:

Workout clothes currently, or always. whatevs.  

 

What else is new:

 I think y'all know just about everything by now but here is a cute pic of tobes just in case you need more. Also, I felt like this was one of those old myspace bulletins I used to do and I loved those so ergo I loved this. 

 

What's up with you?