Wednesday, September 16, 2015

heart blog: how to love

hey beauties! 

I am currently at work staring at my desk with piles of paperwork that I need to get to today but procrastination is my middle name and I'd rather be with you guys! I know I've been doing alot of link ups lately and as much as I love them I know you guys deserve some fresh material. So here I am with another heart blog, I think why I don't LOVE writing these is because it can get pretty ugly on my side of things being so honest and just hoping that someone can relate and not completely judge me butttt here I am....ugly me!


I know you guys have probably all heard of the 5 love languages book and/or taken the test so that will make this post more fun because please share which love language you received. Tripp and I took this test in pre-marital counseling February of 2014 but we re-took it last night with our marriage small group and I think it's such a great concept for single, dating, engaged or married people to do. I am all about some self-awareness because I really think I lack that and this really helps you get to know yourself better, especially if you are honest while taking it.

Which brings me to my next thing, when I first took it I wasn't completely honest because of course I want to sound like the best version of myself. So last night when we took it, I was completely honest and it was refreshing to get my answers knowing that I was honest and this is who I was and honestly, it made Tripp understand me alot more which is funny considering we've been together almost 5 years.

The test is 30 questions and the options of answers are: Acts of Service, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. 

I was not surprised to get a total of 9 [the max you can get is 12] for Receiving Gifts. When my pastor explained last night that receiving gifts isn't a greedy thing, it's a "I got you your favorite candy" or anything remotely in that category. When I got Receiving Gifts, I realized that it should've been clear all along. I grew up with birthdays always being a big deal at our house, it was always a good day. Even when we were young, we would wake up to our age being posted all over the house and being made to feel like the most special person thanks to my mom. Then I realized that I still love my birthday like a child and that I constantly try to get Tripp little or big things and I never quite understand why he doesn't freak out as much as I would..I am very fortunate for Tripp because I had several boyfriends growing up that took advantage of my way of loving someone but Tripp keeps me in check and knowing his love language isn't the same as mine is teaching me alot. I grew up as the type of person that wants to say, Just Get Over It or Stop Being a Baby because of situations and last night learning more about each other I realized that is actually the EXACT OPPOSITE of what Tripp needs and wants.

Which means he has a different love language and today I've really tried to start considering that. He had the most points for Words of Affirmation which I do think a lot of guys relate too. I am the type that words don't really mean a lot to me so I am trying to realize he is a different person than I am and I need to learn to love him in a way that he needs. It probably isn't hard for a lot of women to comfort with words but I tend to be very cold with words, situations didn't help this and it will be a very hard to task to completely adapt to Tripp needing this way of love but an exciting adventure and I look forward to becoming the type of person that can fulfill that need for him.

Our pastor also talked about how God meets us where we are in our love language and doing the same for Him. I am pondering this and would love any thoughts y'all have on it. I wish I could say I am happy with my relationship with God but I am SO the opposite of that. Depression has been winning my life the past few weeks, which I know means I'm letting satan win. I haven't worked out, I haven't tried to make any great changes, my diet has been crap and I've slept any chance possible which ends up making me feel worst. I have a lot of changes going in life and a lot of changes I need to make that are not comfortable. I always have these great goals and when depression wins it comes back 10 times harder but I know if I can get my diet and working out that my overall outlook will change [it always does].

I hope that my heart blog helps y'all today and know that whatever it is you aren't alone in the ugly times of life. 

I've attached the online test for y'all, I would love to know what your love language is and how you adapt to loving your significant other or even yourself by using your/their language.  

Also, all this love language talk made me think of this song.


  1. I'm words of affirmation! I love Love Languages. I think they're so important to all relationships! Love this post, girlfran!

  2. I took this test too and quality time was mine. Such a good post!!! Love languages really are a thing and I had my family do it too just so we could better understand each other and what makes us happy. :)

  3. My husband and I took this test last weekend. I got the receiving gifts and my husband got the compassion, which we already knew what each other would get before we even took the test. But it's great to read the meanings of the two and really work on them for each other!

  4. Love this post. I got Acts of Service, which after my blog post today about being busy makes sense, I really like when people show their love for me by offering to help me complete tasks or help me with errands, because I"m busy and can't do it all!

  5. I can't wait to take the test! I have heard of this book and really think it would help in my relationships. I love how you are always so real with us! I think it is awesome that you and Tripp are looking at this and figuring out how to make your relationship even better!

  6. And had to add this...I LOVE that lil wayne song!


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