The story of my brother is a complicated roller coaster that you will hear about a lot because it is such a big part of my life. It is a story of how an addiction can wreck a life and a family but I hope that through telling it, I can help someone either through addiction, recovery, grief, etc.

Micah was a son, brother, grandson, compassionate heart, boyfriend, soon to be brother-in-law. He had the best sense of humor, was one of the most logical people I knew, he gave it to me straight and I will miss him all of my days.

The struggle of someone with a substance abuse problem is one of the saddest stories ever told. It is a mess, a battle and like I said a roller coaster...My mom and I rode this coaster for 10 years and on April 5th, 2014 it came to a screeching halt that we will never ride again. I had received several calls through the decade that he was going to the hospital for any reason a person with an addiction problem could go to the hospital for [overdosed, injured, etc], we had been told to tell him bye [the doctor's said in 2010 that he had overdosed so bad that he would not survive, which he ended up surviving], had to call the cops on him ourselves...most importantly, we loved him unconditionally and the moments that we could see the real Micah were worth all of the pain that all of us went through. On April 5, 2014 the phone call I received wasn't to get to the hospital or that he was having to go to the police station, he wasn't calling me to chew me out or joke with me about sports or the tv shows we watched...it was my mom calling me, screaming that Micah was dead. And that's how it ended. His story ended that day. His story is not mine, but it is very intertwined...he was my only sibling. I will forever use his story to try to help, bring awareness or just tell others why I am trying to survive this life, instead of thriving. I don't think it will always hurt as bad as it does now but I don't like the thought of forgetting anything about him.

If you ask anyone with a loved one struggling like this, you don't see the abuser, you see your loved one. I saw Micah- funny, kind, smart [too smart], loving, goofy, compassionate, a reader, lover of tv and sports [where I get it from], he loved his family [we adored him] and he wanted to be better [we knew he could]. While I don't understand why Micah's story ended the way it did, I have hope that his story will be used and better this world and one day [maybe when I get to heaven] I'll understand why his life unfolded the way it did and why we were left here to miss him for all of our earthly days. 

No comments :

Post a Comment

Follow Not A Mom on:
// bloglovin' // facebook // twitter // instagram //

I absolutely love comments so please share your thoughts with me! If you don't receive a response, it must be that you are a no-reply blogger so please go to http://anyonecandecorate.blogspot.com/2012/09/are-you-no-reply-blogger-how-to-fix.html so I can connect with you!