Tuesday, July 28, 2015

married bliss.

hey beauties! man, I am struggling with the blues this week. I apologize for the late in the day post. I hope to brighten up tomorrow.

So my goal was to do this last week when it was actually our anniversary but not being able to blog pushed this one to today. I understand that a year of marriage is hardly anything to brag about but I am proud of us and also see where we need to grow so I just thought I'd give y'all an insight to the first of year of marriage and my goals for the second year. We are always open to advice and realize our flaws so please let me know what helped you guys at the beginning of your marriage.
This is us. We are the same and we are VERY different. 

[how cute is he?!]
 [yes I'm eating pizza right before my wedding!]
I think that's what makes us work, we aren't too much alike but in the areas that we are we don't butt heads. We are both into anything athletic. We both enjoy humor, even when it is not appropriate. We both like car rides and talks. So that is some areas where we are alike but today I am sharing some of the differences and some things we learned in 1 short year.

1. Holidays will always be complicated. I did think with marriage it would be a little more cut and dry, it is not. Families have expectations, I had expectations, Tripp had expectations. It was not easy. I don't think we've figured that out yet either. If y'all have a set scenario that works in your marriage, please share!

2. Time takes effort. When you're dating, you take significant time to see each other and care for each other. When you're married and around each other everyday, I don't think I realized how much effort I need to intentionally put into my husband. It is not something that just happens, I need to intentional put my phone down, get dressed and go places with him giving him my full attention.

3. Marriage does not mean slaves. You think wife..cooking comes to mind, cleaning, caring for the family. I have realized that being a servant to my husband does not have to necessarily be in that manner. Cooking is not my thing y'all, I very rarely enjoy it and we live in the world where the husband and the wife works. So I find that serving Tripp in other ways is how I feel led. I don't think it's my job to make sure he is fed when we are both working, I do think it's my job to serve him by attending work events and that's just one example. I think it's different for everyone but I have learned that being a servant can be taken in many different ways.

4. Family means two. I think that a lot of people in our lives have a hard time of considering Tripp and I as our own family, being that we are just two people. We are currently on the fence about having children so I feel that we should really respect and have boundaries with the family that we are now and whatever we may plan on being. I find myself being very protective the longer we are married in the small family we have currently.

5. Marriage has ups and downs. Understatement of the year?! When we were going through marriage counseling, our counselor really stressed how there are phases in every romantic relationship. The Enchantment Phase [nothing could get better, basically he is romeo and you are juliet], the Disenchantment Phase [could he be more annoying? could she nag more?] and the Maturity Phase [you are realistically in unity]. We had been dating for 4 years so I did understand this but buddy, marriage has just solidified it. I thought that he meant, years like an enchantment year or even months, but this is a day by day thing. You have to wake up every day willing to work and choosing to love and it is hard some days, wow is it hard!? Then some days you wonder how it could get any better?! Marriage is a crazy, fun, terrifying, hard thing y'all.

Y'all have any tips for the 2nd year. Bring them on friends! I hope y'all can relate to some of these.

See you tomorrow for What's Up Wednesday!

1 comment :

  1. I will give you advice on #1....do what makes you and Tripp happy. You will not be able to please everyone. Someone will always have their feelings hurt or feel like not enough time was spent at their house. If you have kids, it will get worse. After 22 years of marriage, this is what has worked for us....Thanksgiving was spent alternating years between my husbands mom's house and then my parents house. Last year, we decided to go to his dad's house in another state and LOVED it so much more. It was a lot more informal, total football day and we could eat for as long or as much as we all wanted and there was no schedule. We are now going to his house every year. Christmas Eve is spent at his mom's house. Christmas Day at my parents house. I think if you set up a guideline such as this, feelings tend to not get hurt and everyone knows what to expect. It is also okay to change up the routine when you figure out something better (like we did for Thanksgiving). It is after all your holiday and you should be happy together as a couple, not always worrying about family and their expectations.


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