heart blog: not a mom

hi loves! 

I was thinking today over my little space here on the internet world and I don't know if I've shared why I chose not a mom as my blog title so that's what we're doing today.

I think about the name often and how some people are probably turned off before they ever click to check it out because of the name especially moms. I don't write this blog specially for ladies that aren't moms but when I started reading blogs it really took some research to find one that wasn't a mom{or a fantastic cook for that matter}.

So one of the reasons I started was to just share my life as a wife, a working girl and a twenty something year old that isn't a mom...yet, which leads me to..

Do I plan on being a mother? I can honestly say I have no idea. Some days I think how awesome it would be to have a baby in this little family of 2 we have currently then...there are the days where I am COMPLETELY content with being a family of 2 and maybe always being a family of 2. Tripp and I are making a nice life for the 2 of us and we have a lot of goals that don't include kids. Goals for our spiritual life, physical health, financially, my career, his career with coaching, etc.

We honestly don't get asked if we are having kids a lot, we talked about that recently. I know my mom and his family would be ecstatic if we ever do and let's be honest I definitely wonder if we would make cute babies but nevertheless for today that isn't what we are working on.

Another question is definitely..Am I able to have kids? For some reason I think if you don't have a baby at my age in the south and you're married that you must be infertile and while I understand that I have friends that would are struggling with this, I honestly don't know whether I am or not. Is that bad?! I will be honest that I struggle with an eating disorder that I was diagnosed with at 13 so my doctors have always been upfront that it may be an issue when I plan on having a baby and sometimes I tend to look at things as glass half empty and already assume I won't be able to or that I will really struggle but at this point and time I just have no idea. I've talked about adopting because I'm really not opposed to the idea unfortunately financially that is really hard so that plays into things.

One thing that I can say I struggle with as a wife but not a mom yet, I have found that women don't take to me as fast or as well as they would a woman with a baby. I feel constantly belittled or meant to feel less like a women simply because I don't know if having a baby is for me yet. I never quite feel like I fit in with women because I don't fawn over babies or talk about having a baby anytime soon. I think that's an issue with moms, sometimes it comes off to non-moms as cold and for reasons that may be out of our control that we will never fit into your secret mom clubs {is this a real thing?!}. I have some moments that I've really had to work on not being bitter about with women that are moms, simply because they've chosen that life and this is my life I've chosen right now.

I feel like I have completely rambled but I think that just shows how this is an area of my life that is open to anything. Baby, no baby, adoption, no adoption, more puppies....who knows.

So the last thing is the name of my blog, I sincerely hope that moms aren't offended by the title. It just shows where I am in life and if/when the time comes I am meant to be a mama then YES the blog name will change that's why I just chose my name as the URL. I hope that some girls just relate to not being sure of what they want their titles in life to be yet.

I love having y'all along and having friends in different areas of life but yet we all are able to come together and celebrate life no matter where we are currently.