Wow....a big change has happened in the last month since I spoke to y'all and it really did take me a month to get used to the change before I could start back my favorite hobby of blogging.
I officially have a different job...I am still on the 90 days probation period so I won't get into much detail about it until after the 90 days. The good thing about the new job is that they explained that the 90 day period is as much for me to see if I like it as it is for them to see if they like me. So anything could happen but even stepping up to make this leap was new for me and shocking...it had gotten to the point that I thought I may never take the scary leap of working for someone else besides my mom.
It is definitely scary to not have the security of a job that I have always had but it's a change I needed to at least try. It has given me a confidence to know that I am finally able to make that leap, I mean I know it probably doesn't seem so big to you guys but to leave a job that I have always been at and the security I had there for a less secure job with a group of people that don't necessarily know me was pretty huge. Especially when dealing with depression. I definitely can't just call in on a bad day, a boss that is not my mom would not understand that and it is understandable. I've been getting on a routine of set hours and adjusting my body to work through the mentally hard times. I know sometimes I probably seem obviously down at work but I have impressed myself with managing for what is my 5th week now.
I've said it time and time again but change is hard for me and I accept it is a part of life that I just have to get over but nevertheless, it isn't easy. So I had the change of switching jobs for the first time in my life. Starting in a field that I knew NOTHING about, leaving the world of home-education which I could explain every detail to you. To top all of that, allllll of this changed occurred on April 5th which was the 2 year anniversary of my brother's death.
Woah nelly....lots of emotions this month and especially that day. I didn't cry this year, I think I had too many thoughts in my head that day. From fear and nerves of a new job to sadness and grief of knowing what day it was. I wasn't with family that would understand a break down, I was with a group of people that didn't even know my brother was dead...keeping it together was the #1 goal.
New girl crying in an office chair is not a good look. Ha! So this is the update that I owed you guys and I've missed y'all dearly. My mom and Tripp are always encouraging my blogging and I can tell you that my new job is still an office job so I need this as my creative outlet. My creative juices have to be subdued at work so they can explode on NAM [not a mom].
I love each reader. I appreciate you. I hope you guys can relate to something I'm talking about, maybe you've had a day where emotions collide, good and bad. I know y'all can relate to the fear and excitement of starting a new job. I'm excited for this new journey and whatever may come.